Even with the very rare deadline extension offered by the Palanca Foundation, I still failed to submit anything worthwhile this year.
This is only the second time. The first time, way back in 2003, the UP Writers Workshop played a key part. This time around, I have no one, nothing to cite as a reason for not joining.
I did plan to join this year, though. Spent almost a month penning a short, rather personal play for consideration for the next Virgin Labfest and planned on entering it to the Palanca competition, only to reconsider after I had it read and assessed during a recent Writers Bloc session. Afterwards, I tried to revise a short, short, short story into a passable entry to the Short Story for Children category, but craft considerations got the better of me. Early this afternoon, I took a good, hard look at what I wrote so far and concluded that it's just not worth spending a hundred bucks to have it notarized. Well, as they say, there's always next year.
It's funny. Now that I think about it, I never submitted an entry which I wrote expressively for the Palancas. Most, if not all of the creative stuff I wrote, I did so for other reasons: for one of my classes, for the chance to be part of a theater laboratory festival. There was a time I wrote plays and stories simply because I like to, because I enjoy it. But that's no longer the case, not for some time now. That should alarm me. But it doesn't. I wonder why.
Truth to tell, it's not only creative writing that I have lost some joy in doing. Reading books and watching movies too. Even my job. The only thing I like doing now lately is take lots of pictures, edit some of them in Photoshop and post them in my Flickr account. And watch American Idol (and just to digress: Jason Castro has got to go. Really. And: Go David Cook!).
God, the last time I was this--what's the word?--joyless, it was back in high school, during my junior year. That year, I was depressed. Clinically. I even had death wishes back then. Seriously. That's how bad it was. Thank God I don't have them now.
But really, I have to snap out of this. I still have a thesis to finish.
This is only the second time. The first time, way back in 2003, the UP Writers Workshop played a key part. This time around, I have no one, nothing to cite as a reason for not joining.
I did plan to join this year, though. Spent almost a month penning a short, rather personal play for consideration for the next Virgin Labfest and planned on entering it to the Palanca competition, only to reconsider after I had it read and assessed during a recent Writers Bloc session. Afterwards, I tried to revise a short, short, short story into a passable entry to the Short Story for Children category, but craft considerations got the better of me. Early this afternoon, I took a good, hard look at what I wrote so far and concluded that it's just not worth spending a hundred bucks to have it notarized. Well, as they say, there's always next year.
It's funny. Now that I think about it, I never submitted an entry which I wrote expressively for the Palancas. Most, if not all of the creative stuff I wrote, I did so for other reasons: for one of my classes, for the chance to be part of a theater laboratory festival. There was a time I wrote plays and stories simply because I like to, because I enjoy it. But that's no longer the case, not for some time now. That should alarm me. But it doesn't. I wonder why.
Truth to tell, it's not only creative writing that I have lost some joy in doing. Reading books and watching movies too. Even my job. The only thing I like doing now lately is take lots of pictures, edit some of them in Photoshop and post them in my Flickr account. And watch American Idol (and just to digress: Jason Castro has got to go. Really. And: Go David Cook!).
God, the last time I was this--what's the word?--joyless, it was back in high school, during my junior year. That year, I was depressed. Clinically. I even had death wishes back then. Seriously. That's how bad it was. Thank God I don't have them now.
But really, I have to snap out of this. I still have a thesis to finish.
1 comment:
'Joyless' is such a strong term. You're just going through a phase which every creature that creeps this earth goes through. I have been that way myself the past few months. I couldn't seem to find the adrenalin to get going on a book I started way back in January. And it doesn't have anything to do with being a Dacanay either . . .
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